Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
