There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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