ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
