FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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