Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
