I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
