okay pat passed out under dana's car
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
