Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
