i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
