i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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