she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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