Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize