So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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