Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
