I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
