You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
