she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Damn victory sex feels great
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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