covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
