I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I fill condoms, not promises.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
