Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
