Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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