You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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