she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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