Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
