Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
