Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
