if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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