Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
