I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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