I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
