I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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