dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
