She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
