They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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