how hairy? two words: wookie tits
it was like eating out sand paper
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I currently don't understand fingers.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
