Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
