Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
