I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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