Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
whose parrot is this?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
