Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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