I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize