yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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