Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
It's not a walk of shame if you run
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
