I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
