Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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