I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
