Welp...herpes.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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