She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
