I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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