I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
