oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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