Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
