So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
