Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
