But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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