I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
