We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
