I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
