We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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