Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
