Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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