We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize