those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
